


i can't make it ok, but i can make it better (i hope)

by Echoe



Series: forgetting appearances because we're sad [1]
Category: Sweet Elite (Visual Novel)
Genre: (and also extremely gay), F/F, Hurt/Comfort, POV Second Person, i think ??? im not good with these tags, scholar feeling very protective of karolina, this probably takes place like somewhere after the whole nakano affair???, tried to mix regular scholar conflicted about their feelings for karol, with my scholar who's a huge lesbian for her
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-10
Updated: 2020-04-10
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:40:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23510071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Echoe/pseuds/Echoe
Summary: You wonder if it's going to become a regular occurrence, you finding Karolina crying in the bathroom.You hope not.
Relationships: Karolina Nováková/Scholar, Karolina/Scholar
Series: forgetting appearances because we're sad [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1743046
Kudos: 13





	i can't make it ok, but i can make it better (i hope)

**Author's Note:**

> me, constantly thinking about that one time karol was crying in the bathroom : what if it happened AGAIN ?

You should not be awake right now.  
It's 3 am. You should be sleeping. And that's what you had meant to do, when you had gone to bed at midnight, after spending two hours on your calculus homework. You had been successful, for a while.  
But now here you are, lying awake in bed, hot and thirsty because your room is too warm and your covers pulled too high up.  
It's not great.  
But not the worst, either. You can just pull your covers down, drink some water, and get back to- ah.  
You shake your water bottle.  
It's empty.  
...

It's 3:06 am when you drag yourself out of bed, bottle in hand, cursing past you for not remembering to fill it up. You put on your slippers and slowly make your way to the door.  
At least the hallway's air is cooler. It does some good to your heated body, but you're still pretty goddamn thirsty, so you slide along the wall, not bothering to turn on the lights (your eyes aren't ready for them, anyway), walking quietly towards the bathroom - emphasis on quietly, because you really dont want to wake up a student. You don't have the energy to deal with anyone right now (you don't have the energy to do much, really).

Which is exactly why the moment you set a foot into the bathroom, you hear someone sniffle.  
You stop dead in your tracks. You can't see anyone from the door, but there's definitively someone, because next you hear them sob, so you assume they're further in.  
You still haven't moved.  
What the hell are you supposed to do?  
Leave?  
Yeah, you should leave. You're tired, and this is none of your business. You can get something to drink somewhere else. (Probably. Hopefully.)  
You turn to leave, and then-

"Why..."

They choke on that single word, but it's enough for you to do a double take.  
Because, god, you know that voice. It's so easy to recognize, when you've heard her cry before, in the very same bathroom.  
You can't bring yourself to leave anymore. It's still technically none of your business, and you're still very much tired, but you can't leave knowing that the one crying in a bathroom at 3 am is one of your frie-  
God, you're not even friends, are you? She barely tolerates you.  
But, well. That won't stop you, because even though she doesn't want you to, you care. You care about her and her wellbeing and there is no way in hell you're going to leave her alone right now.  
(You have a passing thought about the last time you found her crying. It didn't go so great.  
Still won't stop you.  
Beside, you'd like to think that the two of you got a little bit closer since then.  
Or so you hope, anyway.)

A sob snaps you out of your thoughts, and you can feel your heart drop.  
(When did you start caring so _much_?)  
You turn back, again, silently making your way to the bathroom's corner.  
You don't think she even notices you when you get there, because she's still crying. You can barely make out her silhouette, sitting on the floor, back against the wall and legs probably folded against her chest.  
(You can't exactly see it, but you can imagine her with her face buried in her knees.  
It's not a pleasant image.)

"... Karolina?"

You're not sure you said that out loud, because you almost don't hear yourself.  
But you must have anyway- her breath hitches and then the crying abruptly stops.  
It's silent for a while ; you imagine that she's gathering herself.  
That's ok. If there's one thing you can give her, it's time. So you wait patiently.  
(You wait for her to get mad, or at least annoyed. For her to tell you to go.  
She doesn't.)

"Of course it's you."

She probably _meant_ to sound at least a little annoyed.  
But her voice is so weak. She's barely whispering, and breaks at the end.  
She just sounds so tired.  
She probably is. Both physically and mentally, you think.  
It worries you.

But she isn't saying anything else, so you're left there standing awkwardly.  
You wonder if she's hoping that you'll just leave if she stays silent long enough. That you'll leave her be miserable by herself in a bathroom in the middle of the night.  
But no, this is Karolina. If she really wanted you gone, she would have said something.  
Maybe she doesn't know what she wants. Maybe she doesn't know what to do in this situation.  
(Maybe, deep down, she'd appreciate some kind of comfort, but is so unused to ask for help that she can't say it.  
...  
Maybe you're thinking too much.  
~~You get the feeling it wouldn't be so far-fetched, though.~~ )  
Well, that's fine. You'll choose for her.

You slowly walk over to her then sit down next to her. Not too close because you want to give her some space, but close enough to offer some kind of comfort, you hope.  
Now that you're closer, you can clearly see that she's staring at you, but she still doesn't say a thing.

You lean back against the wall with a sigh, closing your eyes.  
You'd like to say something. Maybe ask her what's wrong, though you're not sure she'd tell you. Offer some words of comfort, even if it might be a bad idea when you don't know what's going on. Hell, even tell a joke or something, in hope of making her laugh and take her mind off whatever's bothering her right now.  
But, honestly, you're scared of breaking the silence.  
Because somehow, she's allowed you to stay, she's allowed you to sit down next to her, and it's so surreal that you feel like the moment you'll open your mouth she'll finally snap at you. Like she'll suddenly remember that she's not supposed to be this soft, that she shouldn't be allowing you to see her like this.

But you still want to do _something_. Anything.  
You just want to help her.  
You just want her to be okay.  
(You ignore the sudden urge to hug her.)

Opening your eyes, you chance a glance at her. She isn't looking at you anymore, instead staring at her knees.  
You wonder what's going through her head right now.  
You probably won't know anytime soon. That's fine.  
For now, you just want to be here for her.

Slowly, not taking your eyes off her, you slide closer and closer until your arms touch. (You have a feeling of déjà vu.)  
You hear her take a sharp inhale, see and feel her tense, and you start wondering if this was such a good idea. (You're trying very hard not to panic.)  
Thankfully, she relaxes after a few seconds. She doesn't look at you, doesn't utter a word, but you feel her lean slightly against you, and you decide that you made the right choice.  
(You ignore the way your heart flutters. Not now, feelings.)

The two of you stay like this for a while. Ten minutes, maybe fifteen. You're not really sure, you're not paying attention.  
(It's kind of hard to pay attention when you have a pretty girl against you and you can feel her warmth and her soft hair cascading on your shoulder and you're trying to figure out what shampoo she uses because she smells so good-  
Anyway.)

You're drifting off to sleep (yes, it's easy to ignore a hard wall and floor when you have a warm body against yours) when Karolina suddenly gets up, jolting you awake and leaving you cold.  
She stands there for a second, and your sleepy brain kind of wants to ask her to sit back down, to grab her pajama's sleeve and tug at it, because everything felt so comfortable and peaceful and you miss it already (you miss _her_ already, but thankfully you don't tell her, that'd be embarrassing). You don't have the time to do anything, though, because next second she just starts leaving, not sparing you a glance or a word.  
You blink, looking at her go.  
Your brain is having a hard time processing all of this, to be perfectly honest, and it takes you a few seconds to understand what's happening.  
When you do, you feel a little hurt, but scramble to follow anyway.

You catch up to her quickly, and without a word you walk back to your respective rooms.  
When she pauses in front of her door, you wonder if she's finally going to break the silence, so you wait expectantly.  
(You really hope she isn't going to bed without saying a thing.)  
She inhales, exhales. (Wow, okay, she's really preparing herself.)

"... Thanks."

And she opens her door without waiting for your answer, and you barely have the time to say 'good night' before she closes it.  
Well, you'll be damned. Karolina actually thanked you.  
That feels like _progress_ to you.  
(A whole lot of progress, actually.)  
You figure that tomorrow, once she's well rested, she'll come back to you and ask you to never speak of this again, but still. It feels like a big thing coming from her.  
And right now you're smiling like an idiot and feeling all warm inside so you really don't feel the need to care about what's to come.

(When you get inside your room, though, you suddenly notice the empty bottle in your left hand and remember how this all came to happen in the first place.  
You groan.)

**Author's Note:**

> i kinda just feel like she could use a hug bro  
> also my tumbly is pascal-oswell if u wanna come be gay for karol with me :3c


End file.
